It's Not Enough
by kiwiapple6
Summary: "Liv, what's wrong?" He asks so gently that it brings tears to my eyes. This is exactly why I love him so much. Please R&R, might be a one-shot. EO.


**A/N: New stoy, well sort of. Anyways, this has been swimming in my head the last couple of hours and I thought I share it with you guys. Now, I'm not sure if I should leave this as a one-shot or make this into a story so tell me what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. :(**

**It's Not Enough**

**-Olivia's P.O.V-**

Looking across my desk I stared at my partner. Munch and Fin were out on an assignment and Cragen was in his office. We were suppose to be working on our DD5's but I keep losing focus and my mind turns to thoughts of him. I glance down at the photo that rested on my desk and smile. It was a picture of Elliot and me at last year Christmas party. Tears were shining in my eyes and my head was brought back in laughter; I had an open mouth smile and Elliot was grinning down at me. We looked happy together, and at that time I was.

Now sitting across from him, I ached. I ached to touch him, kiss him, hold him…and even make love to him. He was everything that I wanted, but everything that I couldn't have. I wish I would have made a move when he and Kathy were separated but I was a chicken and afraid our friendship would forever be screwed up. I convinced myself that he didn't want me, otherwise he would have made a move, but in the end he didn't.

Elliot looks up at me and catches me staring at him. He smiles but I don't reciprocate and his smile turns into a frown. I look down at my papers on my desk and hope that he doesn't want to talk. But of course, this is Elliot so he would have something to say.

"Liv?" He whispers my name and I look up at him, but not directly into his eyes; my gaze settles on the cut on his chin that he got from shaving the other day. When he doesn't say anything, I glance at him and I can see that he's trying to get a read off of me. Knowing that he's trying to see what's going on with me through my eyes I avert my gaze down to my paperwork.

"Yeah?" I mumble swallowing the lump in my throat. It's getting harder for me to breathe and I know any second I'm going to cry from my emotions running haywire. I hear him get out of his chair and the next thing I know he's sitting on my desk, but I still don't look at him. I can feel his gaze on me and since I know he won't leave until I look at him I take a deep breath and slowly find myself staring into his deep blue eyes.

"Liv, what's wrong?" He asks so gently that it brings tears to my eyes. This is exactly why I love him so much. Though times he can be hot-headed, stubborn, and drive me insane, he can also be gentle, compassionate, and caring. Thinking about him that way lets the first tear that I've been trying to hold in to fall, but before I can wipe it away Elliot's hand is on my face and his thumb brushes it away. I stare at him with watery eyes and I can see the worry etched on his face. I close my eyes and try to get my emotions together. But his hand is still on my face and now his thumb is rubbing my cheek. I gently push his hand way because I know if he keeps doing that I'll break down and cry right in front of him. "Liv, please tell me what's going on." He says and I can hear the hurt in his voice because he has no clue what's going on and I won't tell him. But I want to tell him, but I can't. How do I tell my partner that I'm in love with him and that I'm hurting because of it?

I look at the clock over Elliot's shoulder and am relieved to find that it's time for lunch. I stand up and clear my throat and then whisper, "Nothing." I've been telling him the same answer since last week, the only difference this time is I'm so emotional and he has seen me cry now. Normally I would look at him and produce a small smile to let him know that everything is okay, but I can't even do that. And if I did, I know he would see right through, but it's gotten to the point where when I look at him all I want to do is cry. "I'll be back with lunch." I say walking out of the precinct and I'm grateful for the fact that he doesn't follow me. I need time to myself and I can't breathe around him, literally.

I drive off to a favorite Deli's of ours and order our meals. I order a turkey sub with Swiss cheese for me and a ham sub with American cheese for Elliot. I let out a small smile knowing that even though Elliot insists he hates Swiss cheese, we'll swap half our subs for each others. A frown falls on my face as I realize that I won't be eating much today…again. I've lost my appetite, but I still eat some knowing that Elliot will worry about me if I don't eat at all.

I grab our subs and then stop at the café next door for some fresh coffee. I hop back in the car and drive back to the precinct, but I drive barely the minimum speed limit needing more time to myself. I sigh, knowing this is going to be a long week since it's only Monday. The worst part is I have to face Elliot, and after what just happened in the precinct I don't think I can. I should have called in sick today like I started to but I knew Elliot would show up at my door concerned.

None of today would have happened if Saturday hadn't gone so bad. I was dating this guy for almost 3 months and he was a great guy but then I found out he was married with kids.

I laugh bitterly, looking at the irony. I fall for the guys who are already taken. After Saturday night happened, I figured that I was doomed to a life of loneliness. The only problem is I have to work with the guy who means more than the world to me. Ain't life a bitch!

I walk into the precinct to see that Munch and Fin had returned but was just on their way out, probably for lunch. I place the coffee and sub on Elliot's desk. He looks up at me and smile. "Thanks." He says.

I smile back at him feeling a little better. I sit down at my desk and unwrap my sub. I chuckle as Elliot gets out of his seat and places half his sub on my wrapper and then he grabs my other half to my sub. He smirks at me and then takes a seat at his desk. I reach for my coffee and take a sip. I stare at my partner and ache once again. I want to tell him how I feel but he's my best friend and I shouldn't have thoughts like I do. As much as I want to be with him, I can't. The fear of telling him and then losing him as a friend scares me to death.

So I've come to the fact that we're just meant to be friends, but in the end…

It's not enough.

_**A/N: Although it's kinda a sad ending, it could end right here but let me know if I should make this until a full story or not. R&R please.**_


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